Goodbye to 2011 & Hello to Possibilities.

It's the last week of 2011.  It's been a year of amazing highs and pretty rough lows and like most, I'm anxiously awaiting the new year of possibilities. A chance to better ourselves, our relationships, our place in the universe and maybe lend a helping hand to those in need.  It's kind of a pensive night dear reader, perhaps not the best time to blog but I've neglected the poor thing for so long.


Last year I made the resolution to be more outgoing; I think I accomplished a fair amount of that in the course of 365 days.  I attended two large geek conventions, rocked out to Joan Jett at my very first concert, found friends, tried my best to be a friend, lost others and ate the best hamburger and pizza in the world, during the most wonderful summer of my life. And yes,  I lived to tell the tale.


I recently replaced all four tires on my car, an unexpected purchase at the wrong time of the year but I suppose there's never a right time.  I just feel like those tires this time of year; I think we all do at one moment or another.  Too much pressure ripping at our seams and wondering when that last bit of friction grinding us down will prove too much.  It's as if we're just hoping to make it over the next hill, alone in the darkness. I don't mean to come across as bitter or melancholy, I've had a many, many blessings in my life, much more so than a good number of people and I'm so very grateful.  I try to focus on that sense of gratitude on nights such as these, when I feel really very tired in almost every sense of the word. Tired, depleted and unable to shut down. I'm thankful for my small family, my dear friends and those who are dear to me.  I'm warm, I do not go hungry and I've a roof over my head at night.  That in itself is far more than some have ever known.


Tomorrow is a new day. In two days it's a new year; an open page to write your own story, a canvas to paint as vividly as you will.  All you must do is act quickly while the ink well is full and the paint still fluid. I wish grand masterpieces for you all.


Last year was my year of adventure, I think this year my resolution is to be more appreciative.  If you've taken the time to read my rambling dear reader, I'm pretty grateful for you.


"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." - Charles Dickens

It's Not Just a Case of the Blues

Washington state is considering eliminating funding for their Youth Suicide Prevention Program (YSPP).  I can't think of a worse idea than to cut funds for a program that if anything, should be over-funded.  We must find better ways to help the youth fight or learn tools in how to deal with bullying and depression.  


Depression affects 19 million people each year and the severity ranges from mild to major and one of the most at risk are teens.  It’s an unseen wound, when left unchecked can worsen over time to the point of debilitation. 

Depression is different than merely being depressed.  We all have those moments of sadness, an off day attributed to everyday living: disappointments, cancelled plans, breakups, another Dallas Cowboys' losing season. You'll get down and then back up, life will go on. 


I mean depression as in someone can’t eat, sleep or summon the will to get out of bed.


I’ve had several clinically depressed close friends in my lifetime, I'm still dear friends with one. They never knew each other, but eerily, both used the word swimming in describing depression.  One described it as “swimming in a murky pool of bad feelings" while another said she continually felt like "swimming in glue with weights tied to your neck".  Swimming. Drowning in every negative emotion and insecurity. For the clinically depressed, that overwhelming feeling of sadness is their life and entire world. I can’t imagine being in pain every waking moment; to not be able to at least identify the source of my sorrow.  Worse still is the stigma associated with depression; as the person is condemned as ‘crazy’ or dismissed as “being a downer”.

If you know someone who’s showing signs of depression, don’t wait, reach out to them. Don’t assume it will blow over or they will find something else to occupy their time.  There is nothing, nothing in this world worse than the feeling of regret for not being there for someone in their hour of need. Believe me.

If you have thoughts of suicide or self harm, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or  1-800-999-9999 from anywhere in the US. There is a person waiting to talk to you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If you feel you're suffering from depression, not just a case of the blues, please seek help and don't be afraid. You're not alone. You don't have to suffer in silence.

I’m not sure what made me focus on this topic this week. I had intended to write of autumn with my grandpa, but I don’t think he would’ve minded stepping aside for a moment.

I still remember you, Joshie. I pray you’ve found peace.

Thank you for taking the time to read.


(Thank you "MaryAnn" for the heads up on the WA situation and insight) 

Bulkheads.

"Her sides must be made of iron!" 

A quote attributed to a sailor during the sea battle of the USS Constitution and the HMS Guerriere in the War of 1812, where the cannonballs seemed to bounce off of the USS Constitution's double plank oaken hull.  Hence the nickname "Old Ironsides".

The topic my dear readers, is bulkheads.  It's not a flashy or sexy subject for this week's blog but it's what's on my mind.  A bulkhead is any vertical partition within a ship's hull.  A shipwright may use these to create storage areas to prevent cargo from shifting within a ship's hold or for creation of an airtight compartment in case of damage. It also reinforces the ship's hull for durability as the open ocean waves can create quite a pounding. The bulkheads are cumbersome and weigh the ship down but it's an integral part, born out of necessity.

Me? I just like the idea of safeguarding the ship; to minimize the damage before it reaches the innermost core.  To protect the heart of the vessel, to prevent anything from getting too close; because it's only at close range that the real damage occurs.

And ultimately that's what a bulkhead is. A safety valve.  A means of self preservation.  If you want to get beyond the emergency bulkheads, you have to take time.  Get to know why they're there or you'll never know what's behind them.

But then again, that's the point.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

And the new theme is....

So I've decided.... the theme for my blog is going to be... ?

No theme. 

I've posed the question and ultimately the decision rests upon myself.  To that end I've decided there will be no isolated theme, not strictly tech or geek, comic or media, just simply.... what's on my mind at the time.  Given that I've only a handful of followers, I hardly think this will cause ripples across the web, but I'm giving fair warning.  Some of it may be of interest, some less so, but all will be my own thoughts.

I hope you stick around.  I'd like to know your opinions on the topics.

As always, my thanks for taking the time to read.

Monsters Are Real.

Monsters are real.  They don't live under our beds or in our closets and they don't only come out at night.  The monsters may wear many faces; some familiar, some we put our trust in.  They can be spouses, parents or intimate partners.

The monster is domestic violence.  A topic that sadly seems to be at best discussed only in hushed tones and at worst, suffered in silence.  The abuse can take many forms:  physical, sexual and verbal.  It can be manipulation, intimidation, psychological, controlling finances and stalking.  You don't have to leave a bruise to damage someone.

Here are the hard facts: Nearly 1 in three women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at least once in their lifetime.  That's an incident every fifteen seconds.  It's the leading cause of injury to women with only 25% of the incidences being  reported. The statistics get worse, 30% of female murder victims were killed by husbands or boyfriends.  
 
It doesn't have to be this way. 

If you're in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

If you're in an abusive relationship, it's not your fault.  No one deserves to be abused or made to live in fear.  You're not alone there is help for both short term and long term plans.  

For safety plans and additional information, please visit the following websites:
http://www.domesticviolence.org/

http://www.ncadv.org/

Star Trek KHAAAAN!

On August 10th I attended my first real Star Trek Convention. (No offense to TrekExpo, which was very fun!)

I spent five days surrounded by Star Trek, giants in the field of science fiction, Leonard Nimoy's final appearance and yet... I went to one panel. Why? Because I was having the best time I can honestly recall. I met new friends, put faces to old friends that I'd never seen and talked to people from literally half the world away. I danced for the first time in years, I drank much more heavily than I should have, saw the actual Vegas strip and sat idly by while my kidney was being bartered. I didn't miss a thing.

Because that's what Star Trek is to me. It's not so much the props, the music or even the acting. It's the reaction by the fans, the camaraderie and the ability of this franchise much more than any other, to draw from all walks of life. We may dislike the odd number movies or have our personal preferences but we all agree... Star Trek has impacted our lives.

In the next blog I may make some actual references to the events, but for now there were far too many to individually list. To those who were there, thank you so very much for every laugh and moment that made my heart swell. For those who couldn't attend, I truly hope to see you next year!

Live Long & Prosper!

I Do Not Tolerate You. I Accept You.

Roman philosopher Boethius once said "Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law."

New York state is one vote shy of passing a law making it legal for same sex marriage. For the life of me I cannot fathom why this issue is being put to the whim of the states when so called "traditional" marriage is Federally recognized.

Why does it matter, it's just a piece of paper right? Wrong. It's a glaring symbol of inequality. Marriage is recognized and afforded rights with regards to taxes, property, benefits, loans and legal standing. This dear reader, is exactly taxation without representation or benefit. This is legislated discrimination. You cannot bestow rights of some; they must be for all to all.

Hospitals for instance can still prevent a loved one from gaining information or to be allowed at the bedside of a patient if not legally recognized. No one should spend their final hours alone and afraid, facing their own mortality and being judged a pariah by society. I can think of no greater tragedy than being separated from a loved one when my presence was needed most. Could you?

Life can be cold, brutal and often cruel. If you for even a moment have someone to spend your time with; someone who makes you happy then you should feel blessed. You should revel in the fact that in a world of billions, you've been chosen by fate and found someone special and in turn who wants you. Love is an incredibly rare and precious thing; something the government should have no involvement whatsoever. You should not be made to feel ashamed of your relationship and certainly not fearful for your safety.

I fail to understand how someone can have the unmitigated gall to presume the existence of their own relationship can be endangered by accepting the rights of others. If you truly believe that traditional marriage is somehow lessened by legalizing gay marriage, then your faith in that union must not be very strong. Marriages fail and relationships falter. Gay marriage will prove no different. Some will divorce, others will share a lifelong commitment growing old together. Homosexuals are people, after all.

We are all human beings with an incredible potential for compassion yet we sometimes take for granted what makes us human beings to begin with. Love. Love is living being, too. It breathes, it can starve, it can wither and it can soar. It can inspire to overcome almost any obstacle with the mere hope of its existence and yet be as fragile as glass. It's priceless and should be treat as such.

Even if the law is not passed either at the state or federal level, don't let a piece of paper define you or your relationship.

You have value. You have worth. Never forget that.

Thank you for taking the time to read.