Monsters Are Real.

Monsters are real.  They don't live under our beds or in our closets and they don't only come out at night.  The monsters may wear many faces; some familiar, some we put our trust in.  They can be spouses, parents or intimate partners.

The monster is domestic violence.  A topic that sadly seems to be at best discussed only in hushed tones and at worst, suffered in silence.  The abuse can take many forms:  physical, sexual and verbal.  It can be manipulation, intimidation, psychological, controlling finances and stalking.  You don't have to leave a bruise to damage someone.

Here are the hard facts: Nearly 1 in three women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at least once in their lifetime.  That's an incident every fifteen seconds.  It's the leading cause of injury to women with only 25% of the incidences being  reported. The statistics get worse, 30% of female murder victims were killed by husbands or boyfriends.  
 
It doesn't have to be this way. 

If you're in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

If you're in an abusive relationship, it's not your fault.  No one deserves to be abused or made to live in fear.  You're not alone there is help for both short term and long term plans.  

For safety plans and additional information, please visit the following websites:
http://www.domesticviolence.org/

http://www.ncadv.org/

Star Trek KHAAAAN!

On August 10th I attended my first real Star Trek Convention. (No offense to TrekExpo, which was very fun!)

I spent five days surrounded by Star Trek, giants in the field of science fiction, Leonard Nimoy's final appearance and yet... I went to one panel. Why? Because I was having the best time I can honestly recall. I met new friends, put faces to old friends that I'd never seen and talked to people from literally half the world away. I danced for the first time in years, I drank much more heavily than I should have, saw the actual Vegas strip and sat idly by while my kidney was being bartered. I didn't miss a thing.

Because that's what Star Trek is to me. It's not so much the props, the music or even the acting. It's the reaction by the fans, the camaraderie and the ability of this franchise much more than any other, to draw from all walks of life. We may dislike the odd number movies or have our personal preferences but we all agree... Star Trek has impacted our lives.

In the next blog I may make some actual references to the events, but for now there were far too many to individually list. To those who were there, thank you so very much for every laugh and moment that made my heart swell. For those who couldn't attend, I truly hope to see you next year!

Live Long & Prosper!

I Do Not Tolerate You. I Accept You.

Roman philosopher Boethius once said "Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law."

New York state is one vote shy of passing a law making it legal for same sex marriage. For the life of me I cannot fathom why this issue is being put to the whim of the states when so called "traditional" marriage is Federally recognized.

Why does it matter, it's just a piece of paper right? Wrong. It's a glaring symbol of inequality. Marriage is recognized and afforded rights with regards to taxes, property, benefits, loans and legal standing. This dear reader, is exactly taxation without representation or benefit. This is legislated discrimination. You cannot bestow rights of some; they must be for all to all.

Hospitals for instance can still prevent a loved one from gaining information or to be allowed at the bedside of a patient if not legally recognized. No one should spend their final hours alone and afraid, facing their own mortality and being judged a pariah by society. I can think of no greater tragedy than being separated from a loved one when my presence was needed most. Could you?

Life can be cold, brutal and often cruel. If you for even a moment have someone to spend your time with; someone who makes you happy then you should feel blessed. You should revel in the fact that in a world of billions, you've been chosen by fate and found someone special and in turn who wants you. Love is an incredibly rare and precious thing; something the government should have no involvement whatsoever. You should not be made to feel ashamed of your relationship and certainly not fearful for your safety.

I fail to understand how someone can have the unmitigated gall to presume the existence of their own relationship can be endangered by accepting the rights of others. If you truly believe that traditional marriage is somehow lessened by legalizing gay marriage, then your faith in that union must not be very strong. Marriages fail and relationships falter. Gay marriage will prove no different. Some will divorce, others will share a lifelong commitment growing old together. Homosexuals are people, after all.

We are all human beings with an incredible potential for compassion yet we sometimes take for granted what makes us human beings to begin with. Love. Love is living being, too. It breathes, it can starve, it can wither and it can soar. It can inspire to overcome almost any obstacle with the mere hope of its existence and yet be as fragile as glass. It's priceless and should be treat as such.

Even if the law is not passed either at the state or federal level, don't let a piece of paper define you or your relationship.

You have value. You have worth. Never forget that.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

A Work in Progress

I'm working on me. I'm telling fewer jokes, building fewer walls and trying to be more open. As it turns out, being less guarded is not as easy as I thought it would be. I can converse on many topics; history, physical science, sports, politics and yet more often I will tell a joke. Deflection.

I'm not sure when I started perfecting the craft of social masonry, but I've elevated the act to an art form.

So dear reader, in a step towards Grim 2.0 here are 5 tidbits about me. 1. I *should* have failed my driver's test because I was speeding. 2. The last movie I watched in the theater was Forrest Gump. 3. I actually do have "Mickey" on my iPod. 4. I have every season of "Three's Company" on DVD. 5. My favorite sound is the wind gently rustling the leaves of a large tree.

How's that? It's not much but every journey starts with a few steps. I hope you'll keep walking with me.

I Could Use a Sonic Screwdriver

I don’t like the universe right now. Every time that I repair one portion, another aspect has reached the end of its shelf life. It’s taken its toll. I’m not complaining (at least not overly) as I fully realize how well I have it in comparison to others. I’m not homeless, I have food to eat, I’m employed and I’m warm at night. Those are blessings not everyone can claim.


Still, I really could use a moment to just breathe. That’s all, just a moment to sit down and take it all in then to let it all out. A good nights sleep or day where my head doesn't feel as if it's splitting apart. Or just to scream at the heavens until all of the pent up frustrations are just cast out into the void, where they can do no more harm.


The month of May in particular has reached epic suckage proportions. If I didn’t know better I would think they’ve opened a Hellmouth franchise in my area.


I’m not going to get into specifics, you’ve already tolerated far too much of my whining as it is. Mostly here is the point of today’s blog in one word.


TARDIS.


I’ve never watched an episode of Dr. Who until last month. Somehow during the sleepless nights, stress, and stolen moments for Cap’n Crunch cereal dinners, I managed to become a huge fan. TARDIS. Just the name strikes glee and terror into the hearts of geekdom.


The Dr. is a universal handyman; he fixes the problems he sees with a screwdriver. (I might've gone with sonic duct tape, but that's just me.) When the job is done, pfft! Off he flies to a new wondrous world. No ties to anyone or anything, just an indestructible blue box and millions of frequent flier miles. He has the only key, a comfy chair and also seems to get excellent cell phone reception. What a brilliant way to live!


With that in mind, I’m starting a new Tumbl. “If I had a TARDIS”, where I will post musings on where/when I’d go. A transcendental vacation of sorts. Look for (in)frequent updates. I’m getting bad about finding time to blog lately.


I wonder if the Dr. could help me with that? Fantastic! Brilliant!

The Birthday Time Forgot

So I turned forty on Sunday. Yup. I admit it, four decades of mileage under my feet. Less hair and what I have is graying, more crows feet around the eyes and strange sounds emanating from my knees when I rise up.

When I was growing up, there was no internet, cell phones or CNN. The version of the iPod was a giant headset with an antennae with an AM receiver. We didn't download music from anywhere, we bought it or taped it from the radio. I still remember holding up a cassette recorder to tape music from "Solid Gold" on the television. And the theme song to "Fall Guy" but hey, it had Lee Majors and Steve Austin or not, he was still cool.

The point is, the world has changed.

It was a quiet day. I don't tell people when my birthday is very often, mostly because I'm very private. It's kind of getting to me as the years progress. Family members gone, friends lost to time, distance or illness. I think maybe I've gotten too private as this year, (with the exception of one dear friend on Facebook) everyone forgot; no cards, no calls, no texts. And that's my fault.

That's today's lesson, dear reader. Live. Don't just hunker down and go thru the motions each day. Make friends and get involved not only with them but allow them into your world as well. Playing it safe and avoiding the risks create the problem, it's not a solution. Being a friend is to be there for other's which I think I'm somewhat good at but it's also not fair to deny them to be there for you.

I posted this as a Facebook status and I truly believe it. "Time goes by so quickly & there's no do-overs. Don't hold back. Go big & full throttle. Take risks & savor each moment. If you fail, you've at least given your all for what you want in life. It's the path not taken that is the most worrisome." Take the time. Give and allow others in.

That's all.

Goodnight :)

Saving the Day

What if you were a superhero?  What would your power be?  Would you fly like Shazam or be invisible like the Invisible Woman? Would you control ice like the Iceman or fire like the Human Torch?

Truth is most of us would choose something that would benefit ourselves.  Sadly, I think we would far more likely use our stretching powers to grab a soda from the fridge without leaving the couch, rather than patrol the city looking to capture Captain Bedbug.

Still there is a chance to be a hero, to make a difference in the world.  As you know Japan has suffered a terrible earthquake and subsequent tsunami.  On Friday the numbers of victims numbered in the dozens, then hundreds.  By Saturday the numbers were counted in the thousands and as I write this on Sunday evening, the victims have been projected to be in the tens of thousands.  Without power, without heat, without fresh drinking water and without hope.  We can change that.  We can make a difference.

Below are the links and numbers of some international relief agencies.  If you can't donate money, please see if you can donate time or blankets.

Your super power can be caring for your fellow human beings.

To Help Online

American Red Cross
Apple iTunes
International Medical Corps' Emergency Response Fund
The Salvation Army
GlobalGiving's Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Fund

To Help From Your Phone

Donations to the American Red Cross can be made from your phone by texting "REDCROSS" to 90999 for $10.  The donation will be included as part of your cellular phone bill.

By Mail

Check donations for The Salvation Army's Japan efforts must be marked "Japan earthquake relief" and sent to:
The Salvation Army
P.O. Box 1959
Atlanta, GA
30301-0959