Trekxpo! A Perspective of a First Convention.

I had the absolute thrill to attend my first "con" this weekend. The Hollywood Expo; where television, movies, comic books and science fiction collided to form a universe of fans. I have to admit, I was reticent about attending as I wasn't sure what to expect. I'm not big on crowds and being in my 30's, I feared being the older and strange one. I should have known better of Star Trek fans. There were no strange people, the ages ran the gamut and while the occasional oddity appeared ("Thong Man"), it was all in good fun.

There were panels of writers, actors, set designers and crew providing insight and anecdotes (or "antidotes" as one writer pronounced it). There were sellers of memorabilia that transported you in an instant back to childhood ("I had that toy/model /poster back in 19xx!") and creative personalities galore. Out of nostalgia, I purchased my first comic book in more decades than I care to admit. I'll give it to my nephew, as the connection is what I actually purchased and the hopes it will kindle the spirit of science fiction in his young eyes. A dollar well spent.

I do however regret passing on the Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass vinyl.

Some of the TrekXpo experiences include: A panel with Richard Hatch & Herb Jefferson, Jr. (The original BSG Apollo and Boomer, respectively) and an original Trek panel. The biggest panel treat for me was Suzie Plakson, Michael Dorn and Jonathon Frakes known mostly from (but by no means exclusively) The Next Generation. In addition to Dorn's singing an obscure showtune, Frakes not only answered questions, but also ran into the audience to ask them! They were all bright, funny and engaging despite a rather small audience.

Embarrassments abounded which was also part of the fun. In grabbing my first ever autograph, I met Suzie Plakson (who was amazingly nice) and yes I made an ass out of myself but at least I stopped short of screaming "No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" I'm quite sure she surveyed the parking lot for my short bus upon checking out of the hotel.

I also narrowly avoided running directly into a gracious Herb Jefferson, Jr. en route to the men's room. But two men frantically grappling for access to a restroom is not a tale I'd care to blog about. I won't speak for him, but I blame excessive coffee for my own desperation. Two men enter, one man leaves. My apologies Herb, but welcome to the Thunderdome.

What I enjoyed the most? It wasn't the costumes or seeing the celebrities, it was meeting people I'd spoken to on Twitter and then passionately conversing on our shared interest. At the con, we all were members of the Federation. In an impromptu discussion over coffee and (ok yes, lots of liquor), we defended our favorites of the franchise. (Enterprise!!) One new friend commented that at its base Star Trek is an allegory of society and our interactions with different nations. I countered that it's a message of hope, that humanity still exists 300 years from now despite our present planetary differences. You know who was right? All of us.

The different interpretations are why we watch each series and movie within the franchise again and again. It's why we gather together in places we normally would never venture. There's a place for all of us in Star Trek, which doesn't care where you're from, who you are, rich or poor, gay or straight, religious or atheist. There's no judging amongst laughter and I don't think I went longer than 5 minutes between each outburst.

I would be remiss if I didn't break down the topics. Ask those in attendance for a more in depth explanation, the stammering might even be more amusing than the tale itself. New (and by any definition unique) technology concepts were explored. There were bacon heists, zombie fish, broken dishes, chowder bowl coffee, dancing waiters, tales of Halloween etiquette, bartering for flying lessons and I believe I even saw emergency services at one point. I will end the topics portion by advising you all to purchase a bedazzler. It might become a hot accessory item very soon.

Still all in all it was the friendships that meant the most. I may never be able to attend another Trek Con, time away is rather difficult to obtain but I'm so very glad I went this year. (Thank you Melissa for inviting me!!) It was an amazing weekend; although I couldn't attend on Sunday it is an experience I will not forget and memories that I will cherish.

Herb might not cherish it but I'm certain he won't forget.

The BEST "con" group EVER!

No Caption comes to mind except... I look...strange and she senses that I am.

Awesome panel: Plakson, Dorn & Frakes. Thanks to Christina for this pic!

That is Jonathon Frakes firing off questions!

Melissa holds up "Grimm's Fairy Tales!" I almost bought that!

First comic in decades.

That was no warriors drink....

The entire place was filled with sushi.

Thanks to Melissa for grabbing this pic!

NCC-1701-A Enterprise

NX-01 Enterprise

This call may be monitored...

Rough transcript of a phone conversation I just had, attempting to activate a replacement credit card.


***This call may be monitored for training purposes so we can better serve you.***


Agent: Hello, thank you for calling _____ card activation service.


Me: Hello, I would like to activate my card.


Agent: Of course sir. And how are you this morning?


Me: Fine thank you but a bit rushed, I would like to activate my card.


Agent: Certainly sir, I am calling up your information now.  Ah! Because of your excellent standing, I am able to extend your credit limit to $ ___. Would you like your credit limit extended?


Me: No thank you. I would like to activate my card.


Agent: Absolutely sir. I see you don't have ____ options on this account?


Me: No, I do not. I don't want to make any changes; I would like to activate my card.


Agent: I see.  Did you know that with your card you're eligible for the incentive program? (For a nominal fee)


Me: Yes I'm aware, but I do not want to participate. I would like to activate my card.


Agent: Did you know that you can earn cash back for purchases of groceries and other incidentures?


Me: Incidentals. I'm aware and I do not want to participate. Perhaps I wasn't clear as to the purpose of my calling the ___ card activation service. I... would like.. to activate... my card!  If I cannot activate my card, I would like to cancel my card.  Is that an option?


Agent: <pause> Very good sir.  Your card is now activated for purchases.  Would you like to know more about our...


Me: <click>!!


Unbelievable.  How much of the APR is consumed in this waste of resources?  What’s in your wallet?  A bag of hooey, that’s what. Would I leave home without it? I’m more than willing to discover it.

Aren't We All People?

Today is the 'National Coming Out Day' for 2010.  It's a day to raise awareness for LGBT issues.  To discuss the rights (and lack thereof) and to remind people that an orientation does not make you less of a person.

I can't imagine how difficult it is to come out and to risk losing friends and loved ones.  To feel different and guarded every day of your life.

If someone comes out to you, it's because they love you and trust you.  They have carried a burden in isolation that those who are straight most likely cannot fathom.  It's hiding who you are, fearing discovery, ridicule and possibly even violence. 

All they are asking for is acceptance as a human being and to feel free to live, to love and to exist without fear.

Can there be any greater evidence that those in the LGBT community are people too?

Thank you for taking the time to read.

"He's Single"

"He's Single"

No two words can facilitate faster action, except for perhaps "Manhattan Project."

To our married friends, the definition of 'single' can vary.  For some it's a zoological experiment and the inexplicable need to extract the bachelor from his native habitat in the hopes of finding a suitable mate. There's the fix-up, the set-up and the mix-up.

The fix-up occurs when one half of a couple feels it's time for the bachelor friend to settle down.  The bachelor is resistant, he has after all supposedly roamed the land freely his entire debauchery filled life.  The fix-up usually involves a couple throwing a party and another single person ("She would be PERFECT for him!") is invited.  Often both the bachelor and bachelorette are unaware of the nefarious plot and are more than a little peeved.  This ends badly. Every time. The music is too loud, you're unprepared to meet someone new, perhaps you're also overtired and making mental notes of each time you've said something disturbing. ("I was a Martian in my former life!")

The set-up is giving the bachelor's phone number to a single friend in the hopes of chemistry striking.  The blind date is of course one of the oldest of tactics; two people who've never met face to face and have had only intermittent phone calls are thrust into a tense social setting.  Believe me when I say that during the date when the Bachelorette is discussing her plan to dry the wetlands for profit, the bachelor is fondly remembering a turf toe injury. Not even projecting Bruce Campbell will help.

The mix up is the moment when the bachelor and bachelorette discover they are utterly incompatible and the dinner salad has not yet been served.  Example:

"Never married? So what happened in your last relationship?" Asks the Bachelorette.  "Did your last boyfriend cheat on you?"

"No." Replies the Bachelor.  "We just drifted apart and... I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, I thought you were the gay..."

True story.  I was asked if I was 'The Gay'.  Not merely 'A' gay, but 'The Gay'.  Imagine the responsibilities! Do I chair meetings? Do I run for reelection??  Heavy must be the crown, is all I can say.

Seriously, if someone is still single it doesn't mean they're twisted or damaged and doesn't have to be gay or straight, we just haven't met 'that' someone.  It may be that we're not ready to try again after a painful failure, maybe we're shy or don't feel the need to define ourselves as a couple. Perhaps our lives are so filled with responsibilities it's not fair to the other party to engage in a relationship.

We're aware of the perceptions; the "there has to be something wrong with him to still be single" mode of thinking.  The looks of pity, the uncomfortable third wheel moments and the endless holiday questions by family members. We already feel like the last toy still on the shelf, the day after Christmas and don't need to be reminded that the calendar has more pages behind than ahead.  Ask us before assuming that we need or want the set-up, fix-up or mix-up.

Maybe we're just looking for a Martian of our own.

A Random Rant - The Grocery Store

Today's rant is going to the store. Some of us hate shopping; now I do not use that word often nor do I use it lightly but hate is an apt description. For some of us the store, any store is a suburban version of Dante's inferno. Please keep these thoughts in mind when visiting said inferno.

There is a finite number of parking spaces in any lot; driving around is not going to make that magic space next to the door come out of hiding, it does not fear you. Just park your vehicle in the next open space and walk, it's not as if you're crossing the desert. Additionally while I applaud the use of caution for pedestrians, if I walk faster than you are driving, you could reasonably be described as moving only slightly faster than the parking space you are searching for.

When entering the store, do not stop immediately in the doorway and stare into the distance as if you are "shining". Red Rum! Red Rum! Who does this and why? It's as if they have discovered a utopia that has rendered them slack jawed. Unless you want to accidentally end up in my cart, please do not stop suddenly like that anywhere after entering the store. If you do, please watch the bread, it was the last one on the shelf.

Here's a tip: stores are designed to have likeminded items in specific sections. Do not wander about aimlessly; if you want to buy bananas I would not recommend the dog food aisle. And when in the frozen foods section, note that the freezers have glass doors. The food rarely rearranges itself in the split second between opening and closing so standing there for half an hour only spoils the food. I am not overly fond of the ptomaine flavored hungry man dinner.

I understand taking the occasional phone call when shopping, sometimes things come up or someone is reminding you to buy a specific item. However when taking that call and wearing a hands free headset, do not make lingering eye contact with me. I don't know if you're talking to me or someone else and frankly it freaks me out. By the way, to the person in Ralph's who was talking on the phone to her friend while in line, yes I can believe he called you that. Oh yes, I truly can.

Lastly, when in line and the cashier is totaling your purchase, trust me when I tell you that there is a zero point zero percent chance that they will not ask you to pay. This is not a game show where you are a secret contestant, so do not act surprised when the cashier tells you the total and you then spend ten minutes looking for your wallet. We are all tired, we are all waiting.

Then you decide to write a check.

This is my life, I'm not proud of it

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.1